What Finley is up to this week
35 Weeks as of Sunday, March 29, 2020
This week Finley is roughly the size of spaghetti squash, a Mini-lop rabbit ranging from 18-19 inches long and weighing in at about five to six pounds, and man do I feel the weight. She is heavy and low. Oh and kicking up a STORM all day and night something I know I’ll miss. Finley will continue to pile on her baby fat until birth, at a rapid pace of one pound to several until her debut.
We already know she is head down and in the birth position, ready to make her grand entrance when she is ready of course. Most of Finley’s organs and skeleton are developed fully, she will continue to practice breathing and swallowing, kicking to build up strength. The only organ that still needs just a little more time is her lungs to be fully developed, but that’s moving at rapid speed. Her skull will remain soft to help her through the birth canal. Not much is going on these last few weeks until birth as 99% of her growth and development has been completed.
It’s 4 o’clock in the morning on Sunday, April 5, 2020, and I cannot sleep, laying in bed I begin thinking about what and where do I start…I don’t know how I feel, I mean physically I’m great no complaints whatsoever, I’m still walking at least three times a week, Still loving all the sweets this last trimester for whatever reason and overall I feel amazing. My belly button is still an innie and just very stretched out and SUPER clean. Still no stretch marks. Sleeping is broken up into three pee sessions a night give or take. This is why I’m awake right now it was my third time up and Matt looked over at me “I cannot sleep” I said ya, me either… and so here I am.
I’m still trying to cope with this COVID-19 virus pandemic and all the feelings I have run together into Anger, frustration, sadness, scared, concerned, and so many more. I worry our parents won’t get to see Finley and miss out on those first newborn photos of them together, the snuggles, the help from them alone when Matt goes back to work. I want to say it isn’t fair but what’s not fair are all the men and women who are helping to fight this virus putting their lives and families at risk every single day and night. What’s not fair are the paramedics, firefighters, healthcare workers and so many more who don’t have ALL the supplies they need to help protect them and keep them safe.
We both have been very lucky to still be working and making a paycheck so many cannot say that’s, that’s not fair, but I cannot help but feel a little selfish in wanting our parents and siblings to be able to see our miracle when she decides to make her debut. March 28, 2020, should have been our baby shower that whole week leading up, I was so angry and sad I probably cried more that week than I had in the last six months, we have worked so hard for this pregnancy and we wanted to celebrate it with so many of our friends and family who have supported us throughout this whole journey, Those celebrations have been taken away from us, does it compare to those who have lost their lives HELL no it doesn’t but I can still have the emotional feelings. Right?
I’m ready for life to go back to “normal” whatever normal is for everyone. I want to be able to go to a store without fear, to the grocery store and shelves be stocked without lines out the ass waiting to get toilet paper and paper towels or whatever “essential” items they need. Side note: I have been nowhere since Wednesday, March 11, 2020, Matt has been the sole errands runners for everything our family needs or I have done delivery, curbside pick up for groceries. If we order To-Go I’ll go for the ride but won’t go in. It’s just the world we live in right now…I hate that saying for this moment.
We have been sitting outside a lot, conversing with neighbors and watching their kids play sidewalk chalk and draw. Seeing so many people out walking getting fresh air reminds me of when I was growing up and people actually “played” outside that is something I wish and hope doesn’t go away when all this is over.
We were able to get some maternity photos taken with our sweet best friend Jenny! Having those pictures really helped get me out of the funk and sadness of missing out on things we have been looking forward to for so long. Below are a few!