What is the one thing you don’t like being asked by others?

Did you know that 1 in six couples face infertility?

New York Reuters Health did a study of 7,600 women including 288 who were currently trying to get pregnant. The study showed that 15 to 16 Percent of couples who were trying for over a year of unprotected sex could not get pregnant. ” According to the Society for Assisted Reproductive Tech., Women received close to 150,000 Cycles of in Vitro Fertilization ( IVF) in 2010, with male factor infertility and diminished ovarian reserve being the most frequent infertility-related diagnosis.”

I did a simple post on a Fertility group i’m in

The question was: What is the one thing you don’t like being asked by others? along with what we wish people knew:

My hope for this post is to bring awareness to others that the girl walking down the street crying, the women in the grocery store agitated, the person who has a huge smile on her face or the one with 3 kids, all of these women could be dealing with some sort of infertility journey, infertility, pain, and disease does not have a face.

All participants will be anonymous as I don’t feel a name needs to be associated with any of them since we are all women struggling with that one thing in life we long for, to have a baby. No disease, disorder, hormone imbalance, or unexplained infertility diagnoses discriminates against who it’s next victim is. Hope you enjoy their responses.

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“Honestly, not a lot bothers me anymore. I’ve accepted that this is a difficult conversation to have and that people ask questions that can be hurtful but they mean well. I’d rather be open about it than continue to perpetuate the taboo and silence.”

Are those results normal?” When you try to include family in what’s going on —- What’s “normal” about this process? 🙄 Just be happy we got something to have results from…

“Are you really to that point? Maybe just keep trying?”

“Your daughter is old enough, isn’t it time for number two?
Not a question but…. your still young, you have time. No, that is EXTREMELY insensitive and I have had another mama from the group say that to me.
Are you pregnant? If you know about the struggle, trust me, I would be gleaming with joy to share some good news for once.”

“When are you going to have kids?

“IVF? That seems a bit extreme. There has to be something else you can do.” Or “It will happen when Gods ready, just pray on it.”

“Have you tried (insert thing I’ve already tried here)?”

“you just need to relax and stop thinking about having a baby. Just enjoy having sex and being together.”

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 “For me the sex question is a hard one having Endo and PCOS sex IS NOT enjoyable but when you try to explain that to someone who has not had the same journey as you or any of us, you feel it falls on deaf ears since now you have to explain what Endo is, then PCOS and then tie it all back together so they understand that it feels like needles in your lady parts even to pee at times.”

 

 

“have you guys considered adoption, or a surrogate, isn’t that cheaper?” (YES I have considered this, let’s talk about those costs)


“how many times are you doing this before you do something else?”

“You know as soon as you stop trying it will happen”
And my response is always “no it wouldn’t, I don’t have my Fallopian tubes so thanks for that”

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When I finally got diagnosed with endometriosis after 3.5 years ttc I finally felt like I could shut people up. “Just relax… stress prevents it.” “Uuum, well I quit my full-time job so I could relax. 1.5 years later I’m still not pregnant.” But now I can say I have endo!! And they literally just say, “oh, okay. I’m so sorry.”

 

 

 

” oh so even after your surgery you can’t just try to naturally conceive?”

I wish people would understand that it’s ok to not be ok. That sadness is ok. Mourning is ok. So many people want to fix it, and some things can’t be fixed. Friends and family can especially struggle with this. This isn’t a concept specific to infertility, it applies across the board for many things such as medical diagnoses or loss of a loved one. We’re so focused on being “ok” in society lest we are judged or excluded but to be supported in a moment, to be told, “it’s ok to be sad,” or “it’s ok to not be ok” when someone apologies for crying or being upset is HUGE.”

“Even though it’s been 4 years I still feel like I have so much testing to do and things to try. Even my husband doesn’t understand why this process is so slow… especially when you start with diet and natural medicine before moving onto REs, IUIs and IVF. It just takes a lot of time.

“ivf? Are you sure about that? Isn’t that “playing God”?”

Are you sure you want to risk having another baby?
I also hate being asked when we are having another. I’ve gotten really blunt and now say we’ve been trying over 2 years and have lost 5 babies.”

“Are you pregnant” tied with “Do you want kids”?

Just relax and it’ll happen. You’re trying too hard”

You don’t need IVF just yet…you’re not there yet.

Well (insert name or so and so) had a baby at (insert age).”

Here is a Video another one of the participants posted:

As always thanks for stopping by to read and enjoy your day!
https://www.gofundme.com/2bm44-our-fertility-journey

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